Letters of Intent

I found Friday Letters of Intent through He & Me Plus Three and wow - how therapeutic!  This just might become a regular Friday installment on my blog.  I feel a whole lot better now that I'm finished typing it all out.  As a matter of fact, I'm even smiling!  Read on, friends and have a great Friday!
~Sam

Dear Kohls Checkout Lady,

In case you didn't notice on your own, I would like to bring to your attention that you lost ALL of my business earlier today when you wouldn't work with me.  Therefore instead of simply loosing the $1 {yes, ONE FREAKING DOLLAR} that you were trying to get from me, you lost ALL of the money you would have received from my purchase.  Please note that I will shop at one of the other four Kohls in the area from now on and never return to your location to contribute to your store's revenue.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Not So Sincerely,
The woman with the screaming two year old


Dear Screaming Two Year,

Do you think we could just skip the Terrible Two's?  I'd totally be okay with that.  In fact, Mommy is not above bribery to make this happen. Have your people talk to my people and maybe we can get this worked out.

All my love,
Mommy-About-To-Pull-Her-Hair-Out





Dear Friends Who-Are-About-to-Say-"Terrible Two's Are Nothing, Just Wait For...",

Don't even go there.  I will cut you.

Thanks for the thought though,
Sam