Letters of Intent #8

As I do on Fridays, I'm linking up with Foursons today for her Letters of Intent.  Have someone you'd like to give a talking to?  Happy? Unhappy? Just need to vent?  Write a letter and tell the world! 

 

Dear Mother Nature,

It seems you are a bit confused about life right now.  Please know that it's still spring and will be until June 21, therefore we should not be having temperatures that are registering at 99 degrees and above.  I'm not sure if you are going through some really serious menopausal changes or if you're just pissed off at all of us not taking good enough care of the Earth, but really, could you cut us a little bit of slack? It is freakin' HOT!

Baking in Georgia,

Sam

Dear Self,

May I ask what you were thinking when you decided embarking on a month long road trip with only a three year old was a good idea?  You are now four days away from said trip; it might be a good time to start packing.  Or at least start thinking about packing.  

Best piece of advice received to date?  

You can't go wrong packing lots of underwear for the little one.  

Awesome.  

Letters of Intent #7

It's Friday and that means I'm linking up with Foursons for Letters of Intent!  Do you have something you want to say?  Need to tell someone something?  Join in the party and tell it like it is!

Dear Monkey,
Happy Summer!  School ended Wednesday and with it comes later bedtimes (my end of the bargain) and sleeping in (your end of the bargain).  Make your end happen and I'll make sure my end happens.  BTW, just because you like to wake up at 6:30am, that doesn't mean that 6:45am is sleeping in.

XOXO,
Mommy what wants to get her sleep on

Dear Charlie the Beta Fish,

Please start swimming more.  I'm glad you're a part of our family now, but when you float in one spot near the top of the tank for an extended period of time, you make me think you're dead.  I'm pretty sure you're going to give me an ulcer.  Swim, my dear, it's good for you.

Sincerely,
The woman who makes sure the three year old doesn't over feed you

Letters of Intent #6

As usual on Fridays, I'm linking up with Foursons for Letters of Intent.  Check out the other letters and write one of your own!

Dear USA Network, 

I know you have to make movies fit into the alloted time you have but do you really have to cut the funny parts out?  Like when Nick Cage sticks his hand in between the rocks in National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets and pretends like something eats him?  That's a good part!  Ugh.

Sincerely,

Stop Cutting Out the Good Parts

Dear People Who Take Care of My Child,

When I tell you that she doesn't sweat and it's very dangerous for her to overheat, please believe me.  I'm not an over-protective, hypochondriac mom who is just trying to give you a hard time.  I mean, really... Don't make me pull the 'she will die' card on you because I really hate to do that.  

Thanks for paying attention,

Mommy

Dear World,

Randi is not old.  She is not closer to 40 than 50 (Though she is closer to 50 than I am.  I'm just speaking the truth, Randi.).  She does not have one foot in the grave and she's not interested in the sexy mature singles with whom Match.com would like to pair her.  She is, however, an awesome person, amazing mom, and super friend.  Even if she does wear Gloria Vanderbilt jeans.   

xoxo,

Sam

Dear Morning Run,

Why are you so elusive? Always just a little out of reach, I miss you each morning.  One day we will have our time in the sun.  One day.

Love,

Soon-to-be Running Princess

Letters of Intent #5

Now that my blogging is back to normal, I'm linking up to my usual Friday location at Foursons for Letters of Intent.  Head on over and give people some love!

Dear Mimi at He & Me + 3,

Thanks for sucking me into your blog with your fabulous writing and super cute kids and then cutting me off because you're too busy to write any more.  Your weekly Project 365 posts are keeping me at bay for now, but know that there are people out here waiting for more... one day... when your life slows down.  (Right.  Like any of our lives are going to slow down!)  Well, just know that when you're ready, your loyal followers are here to read it.  Until then, don't forget to take a minute for yourself!

xoxo,
A {still} loyal reader

DEAR CREATOR OF 5 HOUR ENERGY SHOTS,

MY PRODUCTIVITY AND I ARE FOREVER INDEBTED TO YOU.  I'M SO GLAD I DON'T GET A CAFFEINE HIGH HIGH HIGH HIGH HIGH WITH YOU.  YOU'RE AMAZING.  I KNOW IT SAYS TO ONLY HAVE ONE A DAY (OR TWO SPREAD OUT OVER A LONG PERIOD) BUT MY IDEA OF DRINKING FOUR AT ONCE TODAY WAS AWESOME.  SO FAR I'VE DONE EVERYTHING ON MY 'TO DO' LIST AND NOW I'M GOING TO GO BUILD AN ADDITION ON OUR HOUSE.  YAYAYAYAYAYAY ENERGY!

I HAVE LOTS OF ENERGY AND ONLY A LITTLE BIT OF THE SHAKES,
sam


Dear Chick-Fil-A at the Avenues,

Thanks for being so great.  You keep me in my supply of Coke with good cubes of ice.  You're friendly. You know me by name but play it off when my husband comes in with me so he doesn't officially know that I'm there everyday.  Thanks for putting a smile on my face Monday - Thursday around 9:15am.

Yours in Coca-Cola,
Sam

Letters of Intent #4

For the first time in a very. long. time. I'm linking up to Letters of Intent at Foursons.  Oh, how I've missed you, LOI.

Dear Monkey Princess,

Do you think you could keep taking a nap through, oh... say, your teen years? Mama's not a fan of this 'let's not nap anymore' phase and it's really cutting into my personal naptime. 

Thanks so much,

Sleeping Beauty

Dear Karma,

Now would be a great time to bite some select people in the a$$.  I am not one of those people.  Just sayin'.

Sincerely,

Doesn't he need a reminder that Karma's a b*tch?

Dear Bloggy World,

Oh, how I've missed you! I think a Lenten FaceBook sacrifice was exactly what you and I needed.  Let's keep writing together.

xoxo,

The girl behind the profile

Dear Alarm Clock & Small Child Down the Hall,

What do you say we all sleep in tomorrow morning?  Mommy stayed up a wee bit too late tonight blogging.  

Love,

Mommy's REALLY going to need a nap tomorrow

Letters of Intent 8/13/10

Dear Child,
I know you are 150% convinced that you have a brother and sister, but you don't.  It's cute to hear you talk with them on a regular basis, but they can't save you from taking your nap as you have requested.  Also, please stop telling people that you have a brother and sister; they are getting confused.

Much love,
The mother of an only child

Dear Child Who Is Not Napping,
Go to sleep.  You are tired. You will be cranky for the rest of the day if you don't sleep now.
{Oh, and Mommy needs you to nap so she can blog...}

Love,
Mommy who thinks it cute to listen to you over the monitor but would really just prefer you sleep

Dear Drivers on Post Rd,
Once again I feel the need to inform you that the speed limit is 55mph.  If you can't read the speed limit signs, you shouldn't be driving in the first place.  The next time I'm stuck behind you and you are only driving 35mph, I will sic my cranky, hasn't had a nap two year old on you.  There.  You've been warned.

Signed,
Just trying to drive the speed limit

Letters of Intent

I found Friday Letters of Intent through He & Me Plus Three and wow - how therapeutic!  This just might become a regular Friday installment on my blog.  I feel a whole lot better now that I'm finished typing it all out.  As a matter of fact, I'm even smiling!  Read on, friends and have a great Friday!
~Sam

Dear Kohls Checkout Lady,

In case you didn't notice on your own, I would like to bring to your attention that you lost ALL of my business earlier today when you wouldn't work with me.  Therefore instead of simply loosing the $1 {yes, ONE FREAKING DOLLAR} that you were trying to get from me, you lost ALL of the money you would have received from my purchase.  Please note that I will shop at one of the other four Kohls in the area from now on and never return to your location to contribute to your store's revenue.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Not So Sincerely,
The woman with the screaming two year old


Dear Screaming Two Year,

Do you think we could just skip the Terrible Two's?  I'd totally be okay with that.  In fact, Mommy is not above bribery to make this happen. Have your people talk to my people and maybe we can get this worked out.

All my love,
Mommy-About-To-Pull-Her-Hair-Out





Dear Friends Who-Are-About-to-Say-"Terrible Two's Are Nothing, Just Wait For...",

Don't even go there.  I will cut you.

Thanks for the thought though,
Sam